• Ephesians 2:10
    "For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

​Not Everyone Needs to Know

June 1 2023

It would be wonderful if we could live without ever having a dispute with someone else. All of us or should I say most of us have had some type of disagreement with someone including our relatives, best friends, coworkers etc. It is inevitable.

The dispute is usually between two parties so how does everyone else get involved? Proverbs 25:9 gives us some insight. The NKJV says “Debate your case with your neighbor and do not disclose the secret to another. In other words, if you find yourself in a dispute with someone, keep it between the two of you and don’t share it with anyone else.

For some reason, we feel the need to share what happened with others in order to mitigate our level of stress, express our disappointment, seek advice, or justify why we believe we are right and the other person is wrong. When we invite someone else in who is not an arbiter, we actually create divisions especially if the person with whom you are confiding is a mutual friend. Since you got to the person first and explained your side in a convincing manner, you unfairly added another party to the disagreement. Wittingly or unwittingly, you added fuel to the fire.

When the other person learns that you have shared the issue, depending on their level of maturity, they might invite someone else into the discussion. Now there is an entire community involved that didn’t need to be. Sides are taken and hard feelings are developed. Relationships between families who have known each other for years have been ruined because of this type of behavior.

I learned years ago when someone comes to me with an accusation about someone else, I don’t participate in the discussion, and I remain neutral. I have no problem saying I don’t have those types of discussion without the other person being present. The goal is always to help resolve the matter and not be viewed as someone taking sides.

Let’s always remember that God has called us to be peace makers and not gossipers. Keep the matter between the two of you and with the love of God, work diligently to resolve the dispute.

If you reach an impasse, then and only then do you enlist the help of someone who the two of you trust.

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